


quiet when I’m coming home (I’m on my own)

by cherryjaem



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 2019 fic project: may, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, a little angsty maybe, han jisung-centric, prompt: birthday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 14:50:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19336747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryjaem/pseuds/cherryjaem
Summary: it's another year added up to his age, another full year of being strong and brave and holding on, and that's something worth celebrating.





	quiet when I’m coming home (I’m on my own)

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from lyrics of when the party's over by billie eilish.
> 
> i know it's not jisung's birthday yet lol. but i got the idea on my birthday a few days back and i love jisung and i feel like he fits the story the most, so this happened \o/

Han Jisung does not like the silence, because it's in the quiet and stillness of the room where his thoughts are amplified to the fullest, so the first thing he does when he arrives at his one room apartment is connect his phone to the speaker via bluetooth and plays a song. He can't play it out loud, obviously, because he has neighbors to be mindful of, but the sound is just nice- enough to break the deafening silence and accompany him throughout the night.

 

The darkness Jisung doesn't mind, because it's in the darkness where he feels the safest, where no prying eyes can see him, where he could let his guard down and be vulnerable. Jisung navigates through the dark room with steps memorized by heart, walking toward the small fridge to get a bottle of water and dropping his sling bag onto the floor on the way there.

 

The light from the fridge cracks the darkness for a quick second when Jisung swings the door open but the darkness envelopes again just as quickly after he gets the bottle and closes it back. Music plays nicely at the background and Jisung absently hums along as he takes a seat on the small dining table that could only fit one person (everything is small in this place but it's nice and safe and most importantly  _ his _ so Jisung is grateful all the same), settling the small box he's been holding all this while onto the surface in front of him and the bottle of water beside it.

 

Jisung doesn't waste time in opening the box, but he's careful with it. The unfolded cake box reveals a single slice of cheesecake inside, and Jisung lets his lips quirk into a small smile at the sight of it. The dessert is small and slightly overpriced but it's his favorite cake and, well, it's his special day so he thought he'd indulge himself a little with his favorite thing for today.

 

Jisung doesn't know how long he's been sitting there just staring at the cake in the dark but eventually, he takes a candle that came with the purchase and carefully sticks it down into the soft cake. Fishing out a lighter from his pocket, Jisung then proceeds to light the candle.

 

It's already way past midnight so technically, it's not his birthday anymore, but that's okay. He did not get a lot of birthday greets either, but that's okay, too. 

 

Despite not wanting to think too much, Jisung finds his thoughts drifting far away anyway. In another parallel universe, the other Jisung is probably celebrating his birthday grandly and there's probably a lot of people who greeted him, especially his loved ones. In another parallel universe, the other Jisung is probably happy, and successful and rich and talented and is doing the things he loves. The other Jisung is probably  _ loved _ , and Jisung has to smile at the thought of that, at the thought that the other Jisung is living the best life for the both of them.

 

Jisung's own birthday was dull and uneventful, was nothing really special from the other usual days he has to go through. But it  _ was _ a special day- it's another year added up to his age, another full year of being strong and brave and holding on, and  _ that _ 's something worth celebrating. So Jisung inhales and exhales shakily, curls his lips into a wide smile and stares at the flame for another few seconds before nodding to himself and blowing the candle.

  
_ Happy birthday, Han Jisung _ .  _ You're doing well. _


End file.
